Having been through the emotional stress of a divorce, you may quite understandably be frightened about moving forward in a new relationship. If that new relationship involves children on either side, then it’s a whole new ball game!
Be Positive
Remember that you what you put out there is generally what you attract back! If you are finding yourself in the position of wanting to take a new relationship further, aim to project and seek the things you really want more of in your life. The power of positivity is huge and adopting this approach, whilst a challenge, can lead you to spending a lot more time receiving the good stuff and feeling like a totally different person – the person you want to be! Your confidence may be low and anxiety high, so look to friends to boost you up as they know you best and will most probably be quick to tell you just why they love you so much.
Be Realistic
So let’s say you’re taking the plunge. As a new couple in love, it’s easy to romanticize this new phase as a wonderful time with your various combination of kids! Well, you just love each other so much, you’re soul-mates, so obviously the kids would adore the whole thing too – wouldn’t they?? Do your homework!! Read up on ‘blended families’ (a very American term, but some useful tips to be found) there’s a lot to say for being as prepared as you can and knowing what some of the stumbling blocks and big no-no’s are before you make some big blunders!
Be Respectful and Sensitive
Remember that whilst this is all new to you – it’s new to everyone else involved too. Don’t try to guess how others might want things to be or how they are feeling. Communication is under-rated – simple chats and enquiries will go a long way to ensuring minimal clashes.
Seek Help
It’s likely that very few, if any, of the people you know have been through such a situation. You will most likely have ups and downs and will need some support to get you through. If you want practical, forward focused techniques and support then coaching is invaluable for step parents trying to wrap their heads around their new situation.
Don’t be put off if the going gets tough – it’s altogether possible it will at times! Put your best foot forward and enter into this with as much positivity, respect and sensitivity as possible. And don’t rush – you have plenty of time to feel your way with this.
Written by Chloe Tasch. Stepmum coach. Visit thestepmumcoach.co.uk for further information
PHOTO: SPACEODISSEY
