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What is the role of a mediator? |
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It is now compulsory to try mediation (save in certain limited circumstances) before starting a court application about a relationship breakdown. Many people are becoming more aware of mediation as an option – especially following the MrVMrs documentary on BBC2. But what does a mediator actually do?
They don’t take sides A mediator doesn’t make any judgments about who’s right and who’s wrong. They help you talk through what you want to resolve in order to find a solution.
Knowledgeable Good mediators have a good working knowledgeable about lots of different aspects of relationship breakdown including processes, current law, money, property issues, pensions and tax implications. They can therefore help you to work through options in a way that you may not be able to yourselves. They may also suggest options you might not have thought of.
Focussed on your children A mediator will be mindful of the effect of any conflict on your children and will help you work to minimise this and to really concentrate on what your children need from you. Suitably qualified mediators can consult with your children as part of the mediation process, which can be helpful in assisting parents with what their children need.
They get you talking to each other When you can only communicate through solicitors it can take time for letters to be exchanged. It also means someone else is talking for you. Mediators can help you to talk to each other directly which greatly assists the communication between separating parents. Being able to talk going forwards is hugely important where children are involved.
If you’ve separated from a partner and you want to find a mediator local to you to assist you in finding a resolution then visit www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/find-local-mediator/ or www.resolution.org.uk/findamember/
Louisa Whitney is a family mediator and non-practising family law solicitor. She runs LKW Family Mediation which is based in Dorking in Surrey but mediates in Sussex and Surrey. Her website is www.lkwfamilymediation.co.uk
PHOTO CREDIT: VELMA WALKER
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