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Are You Ready to Clear Out Your Old Memories? |
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I remember when I first got divorced it was very hard for me to clear everything away! There were so many reminders and triggers around. It didn’t matter if it was a book, a cup or a picture. Part of me was clinging on in the hope of some sort of reconciliation.
What was I thinking!
One of you is always going to be playing catch up in the after math of any divorce and it will take time to come to terms with this. As the dust starts to settle and a new kind of routine is esatblished its just a matter of time before you can begin to clear out the triggers and cleanse yourself and your environment! When is the right time? This is not easy and only you will know when that will be! There will be occasions when you are going to feel emotional upset and this is Ok. Its all part of the loss that has to be dealt with. You have to go through the pain first and once this begins to subside then you can feel a sense of normality if i can us that word!
You may find that there are things that you want to keep on show (I don’t mean at this point things that will remind you of your ex). This could be a drawing your child has done for you that you may want to post of the fridge, a birthday card bought by your children, a school report, or even a teddy bear! Anything else you may find that you either want to give it away, or throw it out. You may even find things that you feel that your children may want. You’ll know what’s best! Be aware not to cast things away with bitterness though. Send it off with a blessing. You may want to say a prayer before you do it you feel the need.
The other aspect of clearing out stuff is that of the mind. NOW this is the hardest thing to do. Depending on your divorce and we know that each one is different. Some things you can do in order to help is letting your emotion out. So if you need to cry, then do so and don’t feel bad or ashamed of yourself. Crying is a good way to cleanse and purge youself of emotionas. Writing is also a good way to empty the mind as well as singing, exercise and meditation.
WARNING!
Be very mindful not to go the other way and drink heavily or take drugs, over eat or over indulge in anything. This will only suppress you emotions and will only make it worst for you later on. If you are the religious type you may want to go to church or the temple and spent time with your spiritual guide if you have one. Perhaps you may want to choose counselling. Everyone is different. Just be careful you don’t go to far either way and try and find the balance.
PHOTO: CYRIL CATON |
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