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12 Of The Best Books To Help Children Cope With Divorce
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As recent statistics from the Ministry of Justice revealed that divorce rates have gone up by 8% 2017 v 2018 and it is regularly quoted that close to 50% of marriages end, divorce is not unusual.
However, for the families behind the statistics, it is incredibly unusual. There is no set pattern, no rule book on how to deal with it and no guide on the best things to say. And whilst children will have friends whose parents have divorced and people in the wider family, depending on their age they may have no personal insight into what the term actually means.
Through my experience of working with families going through a divorce, I have seen a positive impact reading has had on children dealing with the process. There is comfort in reading for children and books can help them to understand they are not alone, it’s not that fault and that change can be for the better.
Here are my top 12 books, that I have used when working with clients and their children. I have organised by age range.
Older children (recommended 9+)
The Suitcase Kid by Jacqueline Wilson
When my parents split up they didn’t know what to do with me . . . My family always lived at Mulberry Cottage. Mum, Dad, me – and Radish, my Sylvanian rabbit. But now Mum lives with Bill the Baboon and his three kids. Dad lives with Carrie and her twins. And where do I live? I live out of a suitcase. One week with Mum’s new family, one week with Dad’s.
Deals with: having two homes, blended families
Clean Break by Jacqueline Wilson
Em adores her funny, glamorous dad – who cares if he’s not her real father? He’s wonderful to her, and to her little brother Maxie and sister Vita. True to form at Christmas, Dad gives them fantastic presents, including a real emerald ring for his little Princess Em.
Unfortunately, he’s got another surprise in store – he’s leaving them. Will Dad’s well-meaning but chaotic attempts to keep seeing Em and the other children help the family come to terms with this new crisis? Or would they be better off with a clean break – just like Em’s arm? Deals with: rejection, absence, step-parents
Goggle Eyes by Anne Fine
Kitty Killin is not only a good storyteller but also the World’s Greatest Expert when it comes to mothers having new and unwanted boyfriends. Particularly when there’s a danger they might turn into new and unwanted stepfathers…
Deals with: new partners, step-parents
It’s not the end of the world by Judy Blume
Karen’s parents have always argued, and lately, they’ve been getting worse. But when her father announces that they’re going to get divorced, it seems as if Karen’s whole world will fall apart. Her brother, Jeff, blames their mum. Her kid sister, Amy, asks impossible questions and is scared that everyone she loves is going to leave. Karen just wants her parents to get back together. Gradually, she learns that this isn’t going to happen – and realizes that divorce is not the end of the world.
Deals with: family conflict and separation
Younger children (recommended 3-8 yrs)
Mum and Dad Glue by Kes Gray
A little boy tries to find a pot of parent glue to stick his mum and dad back together. His parents have come undone and he wants to mend their marriage, stick their smiles back on and make them better. This rhyming story is brilliantly told with a powerful message that even though his parents may be broken, their love for him is not. Deals with: coming to terms with parents’ separation
The Family Fairies by Rosemary Lucas
Rosemary’s primary aim was to provide the foundations for other adoptive families to help explain their own remarkable journeys… storytelling to help children understand that families come together in different ways. Deals with: the adoption process
Two Homes by Claire Masurel
In this award-winning picture book classic about divorce, Alex has two homes – a home where Daddy lives and a home where Mummy lives. Alex has two front doors, two bedrooms and two very different favourite chairs. He has a toothbrush at Mummy’s and a toothbrush at Daddy’s. But whether Alex is with Mummy or Daddy, one thing stays the same: Alex is loved by them both – always. This gently reassuring story focuses on what is gained rather than what is lost when parents divorce, while the sensitive illustrations, depicting two unique homes in all their small details, firmly establish Alex’s place in both of them.Two Homes will help children – and parents – embrace even the most difficult of changes with an open and optimistic heart.
Deals with: parents’ separation, moving between two homes
The Great Big Book of Families by Mary Hoffman
What is a family? Once, it was said to be a father, mother, boy, girl, cat and dog living in a house with a garden. But as times have changed, families have changed too, and now there are almost as many kinds of families as colours of the rainbow – from a mum and dad or single parent to two mums or two dads, from a mixed-race family to children with different mums and dads, to families with a disabled member. This is a fresh, optimistic look through children’s eyes at today’s wide variety of family life: from homes, food, ways of celebrating, schools and holidays to getting around, jobs and housework, from extended families, languages and hobbies to pets and family trees. Deals with: change in family dynamics, non-traditional families
Very young children (2+)
I’ll never let you go by Smriti Prasadam-Halls
When you aren’t sure, you’ll feel me near, When you are scared, I will be here. When you are high, when you are low, I’ll be holding your hand and I’ll never let go.
A tender and heartfelt picture book. With reassuring words offering a message of unconditional love, and illustrations bursting with exuberance, warmth and humour.
Deals with: reassurance
Living with mum and living with dad: my two homes
Mum and Dad don’t live together any more, so sometimes this little girl lives with her mum and her cat, and sometimes she lives with her dad. She has two bedrooms and two sets of toys, but she takes her favourite toys with her wherever she goes. This simple, warm, lift-the-flap book with bold and colourful illustrations is a reassuring representation of separation for the youngest children. Melanie Walsh is sympathetically alive to the changes in routine that are familiar to many children who live with separate parents and are loved by both.
Deals with: moving between homes, changes to routine
The Family Book by Todd Parr
Some families have two moms or two dads. Some families have one parent instead of two. Some families live in a house by themselves. Some families share a house with other families. All families can help each other be strong!
The Family Book celebrates families and all the different varieties they come in. Whether they’re big or small, look alike or different, have a single parent or two, Todd Parr assures readers that every family is special in its own unique way.
Deals with: looking at different kinds of families
Guess how much I love you by Sam McBratney
Sometimes, when you love someone very, very much, you want to find a way of describing how much you treasure them. But, as Little Nutbrown Hare and Big Nutbrown Hare discover, love is not always an easy thing to measure. The story of Little and Big Nutbrown Hares’ efforts to express their love for each other.
Deals with: comfort
This article originally appeared on the Stowe Family Law Blog. Please click here to visit the website.
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